Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Post About Marriage


{Pretty much} Any newlywed that tells you the 1st year of marriage is perfect, amazing, total bliss...is lying! Maybe I am the naive one for believing them but I'm sorry, the 1st year was hard! And because I had so many newlyweds tell me how great their 1st year was, I thought we were doing something wrong. Until I had a heart to heart with a good friend who laughed at me and said, "You're not the only one. Marriage can be hard."

"Two people coming from different backgrounds learn soon after the ceremony is performed that stark reality must be faced. There is no longer a life of fantasy or of make-believe; we must come out of the clouds and put our feet firmly on the earth. Responsibility must be assumed and new duties must be accepted. Some personal freedoms must be relinquished, and many adjustments, unselfish adjustments, must be made."

Marriage is definitely a learning process. I had to learn how to live with a fisher, hunter, golfer, Etc. Kory had to learn to live with someone that had never lived with a fisher, hunter, golfer, Etc. Haha I had to learn how to be a wife, not just a girlfriend, a daughter or sister. Kory had to learn how to be a husband. We've learned how to anticipate each others needs before they're even a "need." We continue to learn that life (and marriage) is not fair.

"One comes to realize very soon after marriage that the spouse has weaknesses not previously revealed. The virtues which were constantly magnified during courtship now grow relatively smaller, and the weaknesses which seemed so small and insignificant during courtship now grow to sizable proportions."

Kory and I have discovered quite a few of each others weaknesses since being married. Luckily we've improved upon several marriage strengthening traits along the way. We are now better listeners, communicaters, compromisers, budgetors, planners, forgivers, forgetters, scripture readers, prayers, unconditional lovers.

I absolutely love this quote from President Eyring's talk, Our Perfect Example, "I give counsel to husbands and wives. Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion."

If you pray for these things and let the Lord help you do these things, even before you are married, then your 1st year of marriage can be bliss!

*Quotes in teal are from Spencer W. Kimball's talk found here.

4 comments:

Dallin & Ashley said...

You are so dang cute Taralina. I miss you! And what a great thought. I think too many girls go into a new marriage expecting this blissful, carefree fairytale when in actuality you truly hit the reality wall. Granted marriage is the most blissful life I've been living, there are hardships and to not have an idea of some changes will set both up for frustrations. Wow! You got me on a tangent! :) you're the best TA! Love and miss you! Ps I look forward to your blogs!

Lori said...

Very well said. I love you both! and have seen growth in you and happiness increase. Thanks for the reminders!

Amberlin Baxter said...

Uggh yeah also try having that first year of marriage to a Baxter! Oh the "fun" things you learn there..haha I am glad you wrote about that because I think the girls that say the 1st year is bliss are really just repressing the struggles they too have had. They are in a fantasy world so whatever! :-) You guys should come visit us!

Rachelle Arlene Doxey said...

I am glad you wrote this :) Being a newlywed (just under 3 months) is a huge life change, and it is taking some adjusting, and probably more patience than I have. I'm glad I'm not the only one!